Officially Official

I finally feel like it is official. I was in surgery 3 days last week and when I got home, I had my first box of business cards and these magnetic badges that I get to wear on my scrubs. Now I just have to sell something, anything, and to anyone, fast.

A Little Road Work

No pun intended. You better watch your ass Gatti Org. Sorry about the 21.1 miles that I logged today before 7 am. Now if I could just eliminate the alcohol and sweets I would be well on my way towards the "mendoza" line. Enjoy the photo!

Happy 4th

This is the first 4th of July that I have been at home in 17 years. Isn't that crazy? I think last year, Char and the kids and I were all together in Memphis, but this is the first year in a long time that I will actually be at HOME. This one is dedicated to all of those working stiffs in professional baseball that are not at home with their loved ones on this holiday.

I sure wish that I had some foforitos. All that we have here at the house are sparklers. Well at least the kids will have some fun.

No Mas

Seriously, I am not serious about anything on this blog. Like I have said in the past...no offense. Well, I am officially a quitter. I have resigned from my position with the parent company. I finally got a chance to get those bastards back for all of the times that I was traded, or released or sent somewhere against my will. I am not disgruntled, it is just funny how they can do whatever they want, unlike any other employer in the world, and when you give them a little taste of their own medicine, they get pissed. I thoroughly enjoyed my job, I was just looking for more of a challenge and to sleep with my "old lady" on a regular basis.

Thank god for those poor people that fought for all of those rich people to obtain our independence from those uppity accented people across the pond. Think about that as you slug down all of those brewery fresh Budweisers on Wednesday.

p.s. Happy Canada Day hoser, eh

The Tale of the Tape

Well, today was the weigh in. Drum roll please........Mark 225lbs and Garth 227lbs. We are some fat bastards aren't we? We now have two months to lose as much weight as humanly possible. We were really off to a good start today. We exercised (40 minutes of walk/jog), and ate well until after the game tonight. I managed to wolf down 2 eggs, hashbrowns, 4 sausage links and 3 pancakes. I am also gong to probably end up drinking a 32oz. Bud Light here in a bit just for Patty. Garth had 2 eggs, toast, ham steak and a piece of wildberry pie. So, today was an OK day, but there is always tomorrow. I hope that everyone enjoys the photos.

Peace, Leaf

You are the BIGGEST LOSER

Here is my Competition. I will try to get a more current picture of him, but this is all I could find on google.

I will be officially starting my diet tomorrow after I weigh in at the field. I have resorted to wagering on who can lose the most weight in a two month period between me and my old pal Garth. I figure tomorrow I will drink as much water as I can, eat a pizza before I weigh in and try not to poop so I can weigh as much as humanly possible.

The wager is $20 and the contest runs from June 22nd until August 22nd. I am trying to weigh in at about 220 and I hope that I will lose at least 20 pounds. I am not going to drink any coca-cola, eat any sweets and eat extremely healthy. Coupled with my usual workout regimen (stop laughing Mrs. Toots), I should be able to pull off this feat. I might just have to stop drinking alcohol, I don't need any extra calories if you know what I mean. I will include some "before" pictures on a later post.

Until next time, keep dreamin' the dream.

Leaf

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

Well, it is official. The Bears and Capt'n Dan have won their 1st game. Mike even got a chance to argue a call, but managed to stay in the game. The Yakima Bears beat the Everett Aquasox by a score of 8-2. Now if we could just get them to play a game in under 3 hours. Way to go Capt'n Dan. Scoreboard bitch!

Wii....Oui

Well, I just purchased a Wii and I believe I have torn my "rotor cuff". Because I am a civilian now, I can call it a rotor cuff. I can't stop playing Tennis on the kid's Wii. I will say that I bought it for the kids, however I bought it out of boredom, shear boredom. I do, however, think that the entire family will thoroughly enjoy this new gaming experience. I can't wait to get Mrs. Toots on my team in a nasty little game of tennis. The game that is included with the system includes Boxing, Baseball, Golf, Bowling, and Tennis. You sure do get a workout playing the boxing game and the Tennis game for that matter. Right now I am debating whether or not to set it up. It is just that addictive.

Happy Father's Day

To all of us who made a conscious effort to leave it in, "Happy Father's Day". I guess even for the ones who just "snuck" one past the goalie, "Happy Father's Day" to you as well. My heart goes out to all of the professional coaches out there who are probably not with there loved ones today. Those bastards in professional baseball definitely do not care about the sanctity of marriage or family. They say they do, but you always end up missing all of the important days of the year, except for Christmas and Thanksgiving.

My Boy Capt'n Dan is about to embark upon a new adventure and we should all wish him well and good luck with all of his future endeavors. Countdown to Yakima Bears Opening Day stands at 2 days. To learn more about Capt'n Dan, you know the drill.

"You're huge, huge" (Partner, 1997).

Livin' On The Edge

I lost my mind for a little bit today. My buddy Garth took this nasty little shot of me at the South Rim of The Grand Canyon. You know, "It's only the biggest goddamn hole in the world". Name the movie. Anyway, had about as good of a time that is possible when you are 2,000 miles away from the people that you love. I got to see the El Tovar Hotel again, learned that you should include people's feet in the frame of a picture when you are snapping a shot, looked at the sun and Venus from telescope's that were set up in the parking lot for the Star Gazer Party that was kicking off tonight at the Grand Canyon, and I took a piss in the woods. Pretty good day, huh?

Camelback Mountain

Ascended Camelback Mountain for the 3rd time today. Probably not the smartest time to climb a mountain at 12pm when the temperature is supposed to be 106. But hey, that is why the make bottled water, right? I think that tomorrow, my pal Garth and I are going to climb Squaw Peak. It is not as challenging, but a change of scenery is always nice.

Mrs. Toots was the first person, that I know, to have climbed this 2,704 ft. peak in the heart of Scottsdale, AZ. It has two trails, Cholla Trail and Echo Canyon Trail. The Echo Canyon Trail is the most challenging and the most populated. 2 weeks ago, when I first went up the Echo Canyon side, I think that I caught a couple of guys using hair tonic on an "off-beaten" part of the mountain. I guess that is OK, I mean, "it grow from the Earf" (Hurst, 1996).

I'll let everyone (Mrs. Toots, Capt Dan, Keese) know how Squaw Peak is later on. Cya, Leaf

On the road again...

445. 4+4+5=13. I am so f'd. I haven't seen the movie yet, (the trailer scared me half to death, kept lookin over my shoulder for something or someone to scare the shit out of me) but, I have read the Stephen King short story 1408.

Basically this guy is writing a book about scary or haunted hotel rooms. The last hotel that he is going to stay the night in and write about is room 1408 at the Dolphin Hotel. 56 people have either died or taken their lives in the hotel room and nobody has stayed in the hotel for a long period of time, until this asshole played by John Cusack attempts to stay in the hotel against the better judgment of the hotel's manager played by Samuel L. Jackson you know, "it's the one that says "BAD MOTHER FUCKER" on it" (Pulp Fiction, 1994). Anyway, the shit that goes on in this hotel room will freak you out, right the fuck out. I mean I was reading this book and the hair on the back of my neck was standing at attention. I was running back from the bathroom because the hotel room that I stayed in at the lovely La Quinta Inn in Huntsville, AL just happened to be 409. Add it up 4+0+9=13.

Just like this onasssssssssssssssfjkmac

Home at Last

I am finally at home after 18 long days on the road, and what do I end up doing? Watching the story of my life in the movie Groundhog's Day with Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. Just the same shit, day in and day out. Basically, that is my working life in a nutshell.

Feels great to be home. My dogwood is dead. I guess I will just rip that mother fucker out of the ground and start from scratch. I think that I need a tree that does well facing the north that gets a lot of sun during the summer months. Tu sauve, el sol es el cono de madre.

I will be back soon with the ever popular Captain Dan's Log, until then, Peace.

Leaf Newbetter

Captain Dan's Log

The following is an actual conversation with Captain Dan. It is intended for mature audiences and parental guidance is suggested.

Captain Dan "I know what I am thinking, but it is harder to say right now. People a lot of the time say what they think that people expect them to say. If you do not get it the first time it is going to be hard for me to repeat myself. A lot of professional baseball coaches coach to their insecurities. I know what that means in my head. I do not think that a true coach can be single minded to the fact that they are coaching with that premise in mind."

Leaf: "You need to get to know the EAP person with your organization."

Capt Dan "So I asked this player, There are a lot of resources out there, did you ever think about using them?"

New thought-
Capt Dan "I am eating now, just like a peanut butter bar"
Leaf "is it good?
Capt Dan "yah, it's good"
Leaf "sounds good"
Capt Dan "hmmmm(laugh)"
Leaf: "It sounds like your jaw is dislocating."
Capt Dan "One side of my jaw just pops, I am trying to stay on two wheels right now"
Capt Dan "Did I tell you about our strength guy?"
Capt Dan "I think I have to go to bed right now"
Capt Dan "Let me leave your blog with one last word of wisdom"
Capt Dan "Do one thing every day to help your team win a baseball game, that is your only goal, offensive, defensive, attitude, if you do that you can go home after the game and get a good night sleep" "I think I need to go to bed?" "What do you think about that?"
Leaf "It sounds like you are chewing oats."
Capt Dan "I am right now, mmhmm"
Leaf "goodnight Capt Dan" Capt Dan Chewing in the background
Capt Dan "Check it out" "Fucking Diamondbacks won again"
Leaf "They are hot."
Capt Dan "yep, all right I am going, gone, I have to go practice some senteria, OK I will check it out in the morning, have a good night Cya"

Captain Dan has left the building.

Peace
Leaf Newbetter

Seen any good movies lately?

Well, all I have lately is time to kill. Thank heavens there is a Blockbuster nearby, Wow what a difference. I do not recommend Hannibal Rising, but I do, however, recommend The Last King of Scotland and Green Street Hooligans. I am always open for good movie suggestions. My better half gives two thumbs up to Marie Antoinette, so that will be my next theatrical choice.

Until next time, See you at the movies or peep you at the pics. Peace.

Leaf Newbetter

Zzzzz Zzzzz

Have you ever tried Ambien? I am not getting any royalties from this so I will refer to it as EasySleep. Skip a couple of time zones and wham, can't sleep, take some EasySleep. Kind of sounds like a commercial doesn't it? Anyhoo, I have this friend, Capt. Dan that will take this stuff and then call me on the phone. We have the most interesting conversations right before he goes to sleep. I think that I could film a documentary about his EasySleep escapades. Hilarious!

Testimonial:Leaf, 34 years old. "I always try to go "naked" (without the EasySleep), but after a couple of bad nights of sleep and jet lag and a 10 am game after a 3 hour time change, Uh Oh....I feel a song coming on. "When its time to relax, one pill stands clear or blue or white, EasySleep". Kind of sounds like a familiar commercial.

If Captain Dan calls, it is because he don't practice Senteria, he ain't got no crystal ball, and if he had a million dollars, well, he'd spend it all. Name that tune

Cya
Leaf Newbetter

Soapbox

Remember before cable T.V. when they used to televise on PBS that show...Soapbox, a lesson to be learned. I think that is how it went. Here is my attempt at that glorious show that aired right after Sesame Street or Mr. Roger's or Kaboom, was it called Kaboom? Too much sun.

Totally started this blog out of pure boredom. I should be completing my reports or watching "Hannibal Rising", but I just cannot pull myself to do the right thing. Like watching a movie on my piece of shit computer is the right thing to do. By the way, did I tell you that I can't stand my PC, Love my MAC. Well, Charity's MAC now.

Anyway, I am currently in the middle of an 18 day roadtrip that has taken me from FL to AZ and now to good old Kannapolis, NC. Only 4 more days until I get to be with my family again. I Can't wait to resume my family life as well as my landscaping career. I keep thinking that I am done with the yard for the summer, But my damn dogwood is dying/dead and I think that I am going to have to rip that SOB out of the yard. If anyone has an idea for a tree, let me know.

Talk to everyone later,
Leaf Newbetter